Monday, October 12, 2009
Day 1: 10/12/09
Hello, internet. My name is Will Breen. I'm suicidally depressed. I've lost any and all faith in humanity, leading me to feel completely alien amongst my own species, and I've also lost any and all motivation for anything, including school. My grades have been slipping since I was in 6th grade because of this, but the final straw came this weekend. Yesterday, I came within an inch of killing myself by slashing my wrists. I had written a suicide note and final wishes, but decided against it at the last minute because I kept thinking of a friend I love very dearly, and decided to seek help. I went to my mom and her girlfriend, and I told them I had a problem. This is the beginning of a long road to sanity. This is the chronicle of said journey. I hope you'll stay with it.
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Hey Will, this is OnionPowder from ScoreHero. I'm also a 16 year old bisexual and a musician, except I'm not a student (I dropped out). And last year I actually committed suicide. Obviously it failed. I was about to do it again, but then at the last second a man named Mike Nellessen convinced me otherwise. You may know him as PopeMobile. Ever since then he and I have been great friends. I'm glad you decided to not go through with it. Because living through an attempted suicide is not a good thing to go through. Over the past year I've grown and learned to just keep away from the urges. I'm still suicidal to this day, and have many psychological problems, such as sleepwalking. But I keep on living, for what? I don't know, maybe to comment on this blog (and to listen to Death). I'll be following this blog to see how you're doing, and hopefully you make a full recovery, unlike how I was able to do.
ReplyDeleteGood luck, and much love
OnionPowder/Sam Grein.
This another Scorehero member (choosing to stay anonymous) - ignore the name, it was a failed blog idea, and also the only name I could pick and remain anonymous.
ReplyDeleteThis is a road that I, too, have been down before. I wound up in my basement with a noose around my neck, ready to end it all. I don't know whether it was cowardice or a realization, but I didn't go through with the attempt.
I found that what worked for me was realizing that as bad as I have had it, there are people who have had it far worse. I'm not saying that your problems don't matter, or even that you have no right to feel the way you do, but merely intimating what helped me.
Ultimately, no one can really tell you what to do or think, or how to feel in this situation. Whatever your problems are, you need to work through them on your own. Others can and will support you, but the answers need to come from within.